Post by Admin on Sept 6, 2015 14:38:01 GMT 8
Remember to Say ‘Thank You’
Let me share about the importance of praise, admiration and thank you, and having it be specific and genuine.
And the way I got interested in this was, I noticed in myself, when I was growing up, and until about a few years ago, that I would want to say thank you to someone, I would want to praise them, I would want to take in their praise of me and I’d just stop it. And I asked myself, why? I felt shy, I felt embarrassed. And then my question became, am I the only one who does this? So, I decided to investigate.
I’ve known someone whose father died without ever saying he’s proud of him. But then, he hears from all the family and friends that the father told everybody else that he was proud of him, but he never told the son. It’s because he didn’t know that his son needed to hear it.
So my question is, why don’t we ask for the things that we need? I know a gentleman, married for 25 years, who’s longing to hear his wife say, “Thank you for being the breadwinner, so I can stay home with the kids,” but won’t ask. I know a woman who’s good at this. She, once a week, meets with her husband and says, “I’d really like you to thank me for all these things I did in the house and with the kids.” And he goes, “Oh, this is great, this is great.” And praise really does have to be genuine, but she takes responsibility for that.
So, the question is, why was I blocking it? Why were other people blocking it? Why can I say, “I’ll take my steak medium rare, I need size six shoes,” but I won’t say, “Would you praise me this way?” And it’s because I’m giving you critical data about me. I’m telling you where I’m insecure. I’m telling you where I need your help. And I’m treating you, my inner circle, like you’re the enemy. Because what can you do with that data? You could neglect me. You could abuse it. Or you could actually meet my need.
I started to do this myself and the feeling is amazing. Just recently, knowing that I’ll be celebrating my birthday in a few days, I told my mom what I wanted for my birthday. Then, she laughed at me. I laughed, too. I told her, I am saving her the effort and energy in thinking what gift to give me on my special day. She difinitely agreed.
I’m thinking how great it would be if we become honest about the praise that we need to hear. What do you need to hear? Go home to your parents and tell them what you need. Go home to your wife — go ask her, what does she need? Go home to your husband — what does he need? Go home and ask those questions, and then help the people around you.
And it’s simple. And why should we care about this? We talk about world peace. How can we have world peace with different cultures, different languages? I think it starts household by household, under the same roof. So, let’s make it right in our own backyard. Somehow, you are may be great husbands, great mothers, friends, daughters, sons. And maybe somebody’s never said that to you, but you’ve done a really, really good job. Now, let’s make others feel the same way.
Let me share about the importance of praise, admiration and thank you, and having it be specific and genuine.
And the way I got interested in this was, I noticed in myself, when I was growing up, and until about a few years ago, that I would want to say thank you to someone, I would want to praise them, I would want to take in their praise of me and I’d just stop it. And I asked myself, why? I felt shy, I felt embarrassed. And then my question became, am I the only one who does this? So, I decided to investigate.
I’ve known someone whose father died without ever saying he’s proud of him. But then, he hears from all the family and friends that the father told everybody else that he was proud of him, but he never told the son. It’s because he didn’t know that his son needed to hear it.
So my question is, why don’t we ask for the things that we need? I know a gentleman, married for 25 years, who’s longing to hear his wife say, “Thank you for being the breadwinner, so I can stay home with the kids,” but won’t ask. I know a woman who’s good at this. She, once a week, meets with her husband and says, “I’d really like you to thank me for all these things I did in the house and with the kids.” And he goes, “Oh, this is great, this is great.” And praise really does have to be genuine, but she takes responsibility for that.
So, the question is, why was I blocking it? Why were other people blocking it? Why can I say, “I’ll take my steak medium rare, I need size six shoes,” but I won’t say, “Would you praise me this way?” And it’s because I’m giving you critical data about me. I’m telling you where I’m insecure. I’m telling you where I need your help. And I’m treating you, my inner circle, like you’re the enemy. Because what can you do with that data? You could neglect me. You could abuse it. Or you could actually meet my need.
I started to do this myself and the feeling is amazing. Just recently, knowing that I’ll be celebrating my birthday in a few days, I told my mom what I wanted for my birthday. Then, she laughed at me. I laughed, too. I told her, I am saving her the effort and energy in thinking what gift to give me on my special day. She difinitely agreed.
I’m thinking how great it would be if we become honest about the praise that we need to hear. What do you need to hear? Go home to your parents and tell them what you need. Go home to your wife — go ask her, what does she need? Go home to your husband — what does he need? Go home and ask those questions, and then help the people around you.
And it’s simple. And why should we care about this? We talk about world peace. How can we have world peace with different cultures, different languages? I think it starts household by household, under the same roof. So, let’s make it right in our own backyard. Somehow, you are may be great husbands, great mothers, friends, daughters, sons. And maybe somebody’s never said that to you, but you’ve done a really, really good job. Now, let’s make others feel the same way.